I wanna passion pit in your ass
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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