Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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