Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
