I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize