I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
