Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
