so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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