i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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