Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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