12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
