so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
