just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
