I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
