I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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