you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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