Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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