NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
