gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
