So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
