The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
