he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
