omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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