Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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