you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
