My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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