my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
