I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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