K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
