Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
