Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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