so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
