Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
