thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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