Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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