I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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