After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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