ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I touched a dick in church today
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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