I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
