i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
