the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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