you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
