i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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