If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
