College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
