i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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