I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
