I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
