you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
