lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
