i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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