News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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