she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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