my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
