He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
