you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize