it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
