He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
