what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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