Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
