he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
